Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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