Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
