ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
