; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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