this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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