dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
