Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
