at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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