Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm like, not good at living.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
