i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
