I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize