rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
