garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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