chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
