my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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