They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He felt like a one man threesome
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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