Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
