Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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