Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
