"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
