Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
