that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
