Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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