Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
