Do you still have your period?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
