do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
