I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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