definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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