Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
