I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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