i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
