had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
