An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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