I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
sex in a hospital.. check
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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