theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
