After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
