Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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