Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
