I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
