You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Randomize
