singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
