Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
