I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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