omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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