theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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