I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
