u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I cockslap morals
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
