Can i not drive my cunt home
i need an iv and a liver transplant
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
