If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Farmville is her only friend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
