He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
