He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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